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[FAQ
Forum Index » » Soap Box » » Police Comments
 Author Police Comments
Feralwulf
Grand Admiral

Joined: January 24, 2004
Posts: 1729
From: sitting somewhere drinking beer
Posted: 2010-03-26 21:11   
These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

16 - 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'


15 - 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'


14 - 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'


13 - 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'


12 - 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'


11 - 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'


10 - 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'


9 - 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'


8 - 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'


7 - 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'


6 - 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'


5 - 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'


4 - 'How big were those - 'two beers' you say you had?'


3 - 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'


2 - 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'

AND THE WINNER IS....


1 - 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.'


_________________
rnrn
Don't mess with old dudes...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill!

Sinister Strawberry
Fleet Admiral

Joined: October 26, 2007
Posts: 45
From: My Computer.
Posted: 2010-03-26 21:18   
lmao
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MrSparkle
Marshal

Joined: August 13, 2001
Posts: 1912
From: mrsparkle
Posted: 2010-03-26 21:34   
Haha total pwnage!
_________________


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