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Ship-Of-Fools
2nd Rear Admiral
Angry Mob
Joined: June 10, 2004
Posts: 415
From: USA
|  Posted: 2009-04-29 22:50
as some of you know from my "remember me" thread i am a long hual truck driver
and when i get bored on the road, my amusment of choice is torturing my driver manager (Dispatcher)
i have found the best way to do this is with my voice mail greeting, as its like a trap...meaning he has to call ME to get a dose of my particular sense of humor....and his job requires he call me sometimes, as somethings are easier to say than type on the trucks onboard satalite communications system(Qualcom)
problem is, i have run out of voice mail greeting, and was hoping the sick and twisted fellows u are, could supplly me with ammunition
i will give some examples of greeting used in the past
hello, u have reached cab 7780, i cant come to the phone right now because i am glueing rhinestone sparklies on the exterior of my cab, when i have completed this, i will return your call
hello, u have reached cab 7780, i cant come to the phone right now because i am being beaten soundly by a group of dock workers in cleveland ohio, as soon as they have completed this i will return your call
hello, u have reached cab 7780 i cant come to the phone right now
because i am panhandling at a truck stop in ogden utah, because my driver manager is made of failure
hello, u have reached cab 7780 i cant come to the phone right now because i have recently discovered the truck stop i am at dosnt have any toilet paper, i will return your call as soon as i decide which sock i will be throwing away
hello, u have reached cab 7780 i cant come to the phone right now, i am on ebay buying cabbage patch children as i need their birth certificates to claim them as dependents,
hello, u have reached cab 7780 i cant come to the phone right now, as i am in my sleeper crying because my driver manager hurt my feelings,
hello, u have reached cab 7780 i cant come to the phone right now because another driver wouldnt believe his tounge would stick to his truck, i will call u back after i fetch some warm water and a spatula(this one was during the winter obviously)
hello, u have reached cab 7780 i cant come to the phone right now as i am busy with ...holy crap i hit a duck BEEP...
i know i gave many examples, but there are alot...and that gives u the idea
non of them can have cuss words, or be blatantly offensive
PS: i will update this thread when i use on that is suggested (if any are)
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Lacrosseian
Fleet Admiral
Raven Warriors
Joined: October 01, 2004
Posts: 1254
| Posted: 2009-04-30 01:44
Hello, you have reached cab 7780. I cannot come to the phone right now as I am busy fixing the flux capacitor. I will have already picked up the phone back in the past, so leaving a message in the future may be frivilious.
[ This Message was edited by: Lacrosseian on 2009-04-30 02:32 ]
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Tael
2nd Rear Admiral
Palestar
Joined: July 03, 2002
Posts: 3697
From: San Francisco Bay Area
| Posted: 2009-04-30 04:49
Shakee's Pizza, Please hold...
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LAG
Marshal
Lethal Assault Group
Joined: September 19, 2004
Posts: 323
From: Margaritaville
| Posted: 2009-04-30 05:45
try:
Hello.... (long pause)... HELLO? .... (another long pause).... Could you speak up, I can't hear you. (another long pause) Hey, leave a short message and your number and I'll call you back.
Obviously, the trap is go get the dispatcher to start talking to your message. I did this to my answering machine at home and telemarketers have mostly stopped calling, but it's hilarious when you get your friends, lol. Once my friends realize they're talking to an answering machine, all I hear is, "I hate your message... SOB got me again" then click!
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Sens [R33]
Admiral
Joined: September 27, 2008
Posts: 1020
From: Edge of th...
| Posted: 2009-04-30 19:44
Hello, you have reached cab 7780, I am currently engaged in hot pursuit of my refrigerator... which seems to be running. I will return your call as soon as I catch it.
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Proud member of the Order of the Gaifen
Founder and former Club chair of the Shigernafy Fan Club
Co-founder of the Doran Judication Comittee
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Captain LlamaPajamas
Vice Admiral
Joined: November 24, 2007
Posts: 76
From: Virginia, USA
| Posted: 2009-04-30 20:56
Hello, you have reached cab 7780 I am currently imprisoned in Miami for molesting local wildlife but will return your call when the guards give me my five minutes on the phone
Hello, you have reached cab 7780 I am being pulled over for flashing at traffic I will return your call later
Hello, you have reached cab 7780 I am currently renting out my cab to pay for the gas and will be returning in a few days
Hello, you have reached cab 7780 I will return your call later when... who is that man? Oh my god he has a gun I have to go -insert panicky noises- oh god send for help
Hello, you have reached cab 7780. We currently have a special, which includes a sandwich, the fries, and a medium drink for $3.99
Hello, you have reached cab 7780, I am currently hauling some stolen nuclear warheads for a terrorist organization and am a bit too busy to talk and will return your call later
Hello, you have reached cab 7780. Were no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do i
A full commitments what Im thinking of
You wouldnt get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how Im feeling
Gotta make you understand
never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
[ This Message was edited by: Captain LlamaPajamas on 2009-04-30 21:08 ]
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Sardaukar
Admiral
Raven Warriors
Joined: October 08, 2002
Posts: 1656
| Posted: 2009-04-30 22:26
Quote:
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On 2009-04-30 01:44, Lacrosseian wrote:
Hello, you have reached cab 7780. I cannot come to the phone right now as I am busy fixing the flux capacitor. I will have already picked up the phone back in the past, so leaving a message in the future may be frivilious.
[ This Message was edited by: Lacrosseian on 2009-04-30 02:32 ]
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Ham&Swiss
Grand Admiral
Joined: October 12, 2004
Posts: 418
From: 10$ to whoever finds me
| Posted: 2009-05-01 01:08
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
"911 - What is your emergency?"
Sorry I can’t get to the phone right now because my girlfriend and I are doing our favorite thing together. Personally I like doing it up and down, while she likes doing it side-to-side r-e-a-l slow... So I’ll get back to you when we finish brushing our teeth.
Hello, this is 7780's microwave. His answering machine just eloped with his tape deck, so I'm stuck taking his calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
H&S
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If violence doesn't work, Your not using enough!
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Ship-Of-Fools
2nd Rear Admiral
Angry Mob
Joined: June 10, 2004
Posts: 415
From: USA
| Posted: 2009-05-01 20:54
Quote:
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On 2009-04-30 01:44, Lacrosseian wrote:
Hello, you have reached cab 7780. I cannot come to the phone right now as I am busy fixing the flux capacitor. I will have already picked up the phone back in the past, so leaving a message in the future may be frivilious.
[ This Message was edited by: Lacrosseian on 2009-04-30 02:32 ]
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currently in use as of 5/1/09
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Eledore Massis [R33]
Grand Admiral
Templar Knights
Joined: May 26, 2002
Posts: 2694
From: tsohlacoLocalhost
| Posted: 2009-05-02 10:30
(Need another persons to record this)
Hello this is , if your interested in buying a freight truck, leave a message and your contact information.
Welcome to 7780 do you have a moment, <~7 seconds> thank you for calling, unfortinatly all our operators are out of use, please leave a message at the tone.
Stripclub 7780, VIP lounge bar, who is calling.
Hi, i'm currently on vacation but if you in need of someone driving in cab 7780. dail 1-800-2384691, thank you.
(thats the phone number of the New-York Times, or just fit in any number)
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DS Discordion
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Fattierob
Vice Admiral
Joined: April 25, 2003
Posts: 4059
| Posted: 2009-05-02 13:07
This is Cab 7780.
[pause]
....7780, sounds like the combination on my luggage...
We here at Cab 7780 are sorry to report the level of synergy required in this phone call does not meet EPA regulations. Please leave a message after the tone.
You have reached the U.S.S. Arizona, call sign "Cab 7780". Please leave a message after the broadside.
[30 seconds of "Spanish Flea" (instrumental)] .....You have reached the Cab 7780 emergency taco hotline. Please leave a message detailing your taco and we will make our very best effort to respond.
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