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The Cookie or The Cookie Dough? |
Drafell
Grand Admiral
Mythica
Joined: May 30, 2003
Posts: 2449
From: United Kingdom
|  Posted: 2007-09-12 10:03
So which came first? Was it The Cookie or The Cookie Dough?
Philosophers have spent many thousands of hours trying to solve this paradox of existence, and even the greatest Sensei's have so far been unable to answer this one question.
So let me explain the conundrum:
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In the beginning, The Man* created The Oven and The Dough.
And The Dough was without form, and squidgy; and darkness was on the face of The Man, for The Kitchen had no light. And the hand of The Man moved through The Kitchen.
And The Man said, Let there be light: and there was light.
And The Man saw the light, that it was good: and The Man divided the light from His Pants to The Kitchen, for only a Fool** wears The Glowing Pink Pantaloons.
And The Man called the light "A Fluorescent Pink Neon Tube", and The Kitchen was called "The Kitchen", for it was already named so. And the eating of The Cheesecake was The First Hour.
And The Man said, "Let There Be A Rolling Pin in the midst of The Kitchen," and let it flatten The Dough.
And The Man used The Rolling Pin, and flattened The Dough, and made the pieces into little round shapes, for he was hungry: and it was so.
And The Man called the shapes "Things", for the hunger was a distraction and The Man wanted pie. And the eating of The Key-Lime Pie was The Second Hour.
And The Man said, "Let these Things in The Kitchen be gathered into The Oven, and llet The Oven be turned to 200°C": and it was so.
And The Man called the heating of Things "Cooking", and being out of idea's due to the negative Bitoism of the Pink Pantaloons, which were not The Glowing Pink Pantaloons, he called the Cooking Things "Cookies": and The Man saw that it was good.
And The Man said, "Let The Oven bring forth The Cookies, and let The Cookies rest on The Cookie Rack, in The Kitchen, on The Shelf until cooled": and it was so.
And The Cookies were brought forth from the Oven, and cooled on The Cookie Rack, on The Shelf, in The Kitchen: and The Man saw that it was good.
And The Man, being a greedy so-and-so, saw that The Eating of The Cookies was The Third Hour.
And The Man said, "Let all know the delights of The Cookie, for The Cheesecake and The Key-Lime Pie cannot compare to the wonder I have created", and The World rejoiced, for there was The Cookie, and the Knowing of The First Cookie, and The Glory of The Man, for he was The Cookie Sensei: and The Man saw that it was so. |
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Do you see the problem? The Dough was not Cookie Dough, until The First Cookie was made, but upon the creation of The First Cookie, The Dough became Cookie Dough. Of even more interest is The Cheesecake, the base of which is made from Crushed Cookies. How can The Cheesecake have been in existence before The First Cookie? The controversy and conflict between The Key-Lime Pie and The Cheesecake exists because different factions are in eternal dispute over which was more important. Some argue that as the the foods were consumed in order of precedence, the least important being consumed first, and The Key-Lime Pie being closer to The Cookie. But The Cheesecake is base is made from Cookies, and The Cookie is the ultimate delight, for The Man said it was so. This leads to the question of which is truly the most important?
Maybe you, my esteemed colleagues, can answer this for me.
*The Man: The Man may well have been a woman, but due the necessity of consistency, which is most important with The Dough in the creation of Cookies, we shall use "The Man".
**Fool: Possibly referring to Bito, or Josef, or even Rogue Spear, all who are known to wear The Glowing Pink Pantaloons.
[ This Message was edited by: Drafell on 2007-09-12 10:15 ]
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It's gone now, no longer here...Yet still I see, and still I fear.rnrn
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-RevenG-
Raven Warriors
Joined: March 03, 2004
Posts: 2673
| Posted: 2007-09-12 10:06
...Drafell...this is indeed a big thing. Obviously the chicken came first, to provide the eggs, used in the baking.
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Mersenne Twister
Fleet Admiral
Joined: May 11, 2003
Posts: 1161
From: Sector C Test Labs and Contol Facilities
| Posted: 2007-09-12 10:07
the dough. also the egg came first.
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I wouldn't screw with it if I were you. The doctor already holds you in poor favor. Messing with this might really fry his shorts.
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-RevenG-
Raven Warriors
Joined: March 03, 2004
Posts: 2673
| Posted: 2007-09-12 10:29
Not true. If the egg came first, we would only have one batch of cookies...with feathers.
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Nonthought
Cadet
Joined: April 05, 2007
Posts: 65
From: England
| Posted: 2007-09-12 11:32
This is merely a fallacy created by our inefficient language and linear way of thinking!
By asking the question in ancient Znobvian - "D ji lopsey Xery bong-bong" - we arrive at a clear answer that anyone can understand.
ANYONE, I SAY.
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BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2007-09-12 14:28
Oh, I dunno, something along the lines of .
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Lacrosseian
Fleet Admiral
Raven Warriors
Joined: October 01, 2004
Posts: 1254
| Posted: 2007-09-12 15:53
There is no dispute, key lime pie is obviously better!
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Axianda The Royal
Fleet Admiral
Terra Squadron
Joined: November 20, 2001
Posts: 4273
From: Axianda
| Posted: 2007-09-12 16:25
where's Quistis when you need her.....
i miss her cookies.... 
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- Axi
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Coeus {NCX-Charger}
Admiral, I can't read,
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: February 16, 2004
Posts: 3635
From: South Philly
| Posted: 2007-09-12 17:57
The cookie dough came first 'cause Draf had already finished all the cookies before they were finished.
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-Smokey-
Grand Admiral
Joined: October 22, 2004
Posts: 784
From: Florida
| Posted: 2007-09-13 17:28
Quote:
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On 2007-09-12 14:28, BackSlash *Jack* wrote:
Oh, I dunno, something along the lines of .
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over 9000 posts...YOU have way too much time on your hands =P
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Coeus {NCX-Charger}
Admiral, I can't read,
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: February 16, 2004
Posts: 3635
From: South Philly
| Posted: 2007-09-13 18:11
Hes gotta point... though its probably on the top of his head.
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BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2007-09-13 18:44
Quote:
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On 2007-09-13 17:28, -Smokey- wrote:
Quote:
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On 2007-09-12 14:28, BackSlash *Jack* wrote:
Oh, I dunno, something along the lines of .
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over 9000 posts...YOU have way too much time on your hands =P
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I have no rebuttal
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Fattierob
Vice Admiral
Joined: April 25, 2003
Posts: 4059
| Posted: 2007-09-13 18:59
it is simple. niether came first, because they both came at the same time. First is a reltavistic word that indicates a measurement of time on the fourth dimension. if both objects in different coordinates were to spawn at the same time in the 4th dimension, then they both would be relative at the same time. Niether first nor last could describe either one.
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Coeus {NCX-Charger}
Admiral, I can't read,
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: February 16, 2004
Posts: 3635
From: South Philly
| Posted: 2007-09-14 15:27
...
Rob smells.
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Little Pet Slinki
Admiral
Joined: April 16, 2006
Posts: 836
From: United Kingdom, South West.
| Posted: 2007-09-20 09:45
I wish I could eat cookies
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