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Homonyms and you! |
$yTHe {C?}
Grand Admiral
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: September 29, 2002
Posts: 1292
From: Arlington, VA
|  Posted: 2007-08-29 00:20
In today's fast-paced world of McDonalds, Drive-thru wedding chapels, and increasingly efficient hand muscles in hookers, proper grammar can take a backseat to the more important things, like getting in a well-timed 'your mom' joke or dying of cholesterol from the aforementioned McDonalds (rhymes with RothPug). However, a poorly written joke or will can severly limit the effectiveness of said document. In today's lesson, I will show you how to distinguish between something called a homonym.
Homonym's are like the cross-dressers of the English language. Sure, it looks like a woman, but that Adam's apple and slight peek of chest hair are a dead give-away. So it is with homonyms. The best, and most widely misused example of a homonym family is that of {there, the'yre, and their, THAR}. All of these words sound the same, so they should mean the same thing too, right? No, retard. I will now demonstrate how context can dictate which of this family you should use.
"I see what you did there."
"Their house is always so tidy, we should adopt one of those West African children as well."
"They're doing the Monster Mash. It was a graveyard smash."
"Y HALO THAR."
As you can see, all of these similar sounding words are used in very different circumstances. 'There' was used in place of a noun (specifically an action); perhaps MiRVing an entire moon or tea-bagging an underpaid secretary, or making a witty remark. Most likely the latter. 'Their' was used to denote ownership a home, probably in the Deep South. 'They're' was used as a contraction of the words "they" and "are". 'THAR' was used in the less prevalent internet-form, and is acceptable only in that context. If you are confused about the correct way to use 'THAR', think of Darkspen's as he snuck up on an unsuspecting toddler at a playground, and then uttering the statement as the toddler turns around and is completely submissed by terror.
This concludes today's lesson. I know there are so many more homonyms out there, but if you look back at my guide you should be able to use deductive reasoning and project these rules onto any situation. Of course, if you could do that already, you wouldn't be staring blankly in awe of my vocabulary, you dung-chucking ape.
That's all for me, kids. Remember, stay in school! unless you're a religious minority in a deeply zealous country. They always hit the schools first.
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Rogue Spear
Grand Admiral
Galactic Navy
Joined: March 20, 2002
Posts: 848
From: Texas
| Posted: 2007-08-29 00:22
Your moms a homonym...
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$yTHe {C?}
Grand Admiral
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: September 29, 2002
Posts: 1292
From: Arlington, VA
| Posted: 2007-08-29 00:24
That's good, except it should be "mom's" with an apostrophe, to form the contraction of "mom is".
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Tellaris
Grand Admiral
Galactic Navy
Joined: April 30, 2002
Posts: 830
From: Land of Chocolate
| Posted: 2007-08-29 03:03
I'm going to partially hijack this thread for another grammer related lesson, specifically on capitalization and punctuation. Its amazing how much people forget in time, or how lazy they get online.
Anyway, capitalization is typically used to indicate the beginning of a sentence or for printing proper names, such as John Doe, Rocky Road, Lover's Leap. It is also used to emphisize a word or phrase. Online, it is also seen as "shouting". For example: YOU MADE ME GO BOOM! YOU SUCK! The most common improper useage is either capitilizing the first letter of every single word, or neglecting that poor little shift key and not capitalizing at all. It only needs you to be its friend at the beginning of every sentence! Likewise, abusing that poor little shift key, or making best friends with your caps lock key can result in some rather irritated people and possible booting/banning from some games. (It is not a bannable offense in Darkspace! However, it may warrent a mod to ask you to "calm down", based on what, exactly you are saying.)
Puntation is a very important part of the English language. Punctuation is used to break up sentences. The most frequently and easily used forms of puntuation involve the , (comma) and the . (period). Periods signify the end of a sentence, whereas a comma is used as a division in a sentence. There are many different ways that a comma can be used, so rather then make this post longer then necessary, just look it up on wikipedia or something.
Don't be one of these people:
OMG you all suck you can kiss my knee b/cuz i can kic ur butt at halo and you all suck and a cool idea for darskpace would be nebula lighting effects and you all cant beat my scout of pwnzoring!
Proper spelling is a must as well, kids! When in doubt, consult the spell checker! Make sure you understand what that word means. If you don't, its probably the wrong one, and you'll end up using it wrong, so its a good idea to look it up! Don't over use the word "and"! Get a thesaurus!
(Hpnestly, its almost painful for me to type like that... I hate "l33t" speak. And I hate writing poor grammer and puntuation. At least, when I realize I'm writing that way.)
[ This Message was edited by: Tellaris on 2007-08-30 18:21 ]
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I hit planets for fun!
Spellchecker, the POWER t00l
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Sixkiller
Marshal
Courageous Elite Commandos
Joined: May 11, 2005
Posts: 1786
From: Netherlands
| Posted: 2007-08-29 03:52
Quote:
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On 2007-08-29 03:03, Tellaris wrote:
(...)
(Hpnestly, its almost painful for me to type like that... I hate "l33t" speak. And I hate writing poor grammer and puntuation. At least, when I realize I'm writing that way.)
[ This Message was edited by: Tellaris on 2007-08-29 03:05 ]
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While I am not aware of the correct spelling, "Hpnestly" is most defenitly not correct.
Also, I think you ment "punctuation" rather then "puntuation".
Edit: So more editting to do for you.
[ This Message was edited by: Sixkiller on 2007-08-29 04:24 ]
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-RevenG-
Raven Warriors
Joined: March 03, 2004
Posts: 2673
| Posted: 2007-08-29 08:51
I just wanted to post.
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Light-of-Aurora
Grand Admiral
Joined: December 01, 2003
Posts: 602
From: NJ, USA
| Posted: 2007-08-29 18:22
Quote:
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On 2007-08-29 08:51, -RevenG- wrote:
I just wanted to post.
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Ya, me too, I like Homonyms.
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Lord DowneyBUM (UK)
Fleet Admiral
Joined: January 13, 2003
Posts: 437
From: London England
| Posted: 2007-08-30 11:04
Quote:
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Proper spelling is a must as well, kids! When in doubt, consult the spell checker! Make sure you understand what that word means. If you don't, its probobly the wrong one, and you'll end up using it wrong, so its a good idea to look it up! Don't over use the word "and"! Get a thesaurus!
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Propobly???????????????????
yes i know im just a pedantic old git. But dont preach if you cant do it.
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Tellaris
Grand Admiral
Galactic Navy
Joined: April 30, 2002
Posts: 830
From: Land of Chocolate
| Posted: 2007-08-30 18:23
Propobly? I did not write that. Two things, nobody's perfect, and I wrote this at 1 am. Wasn't really that awake. Plus, its more directed at those who write like in the example... People whos posts are often a big pain to read.
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Captain of the StarCruiser
I hit planets for fun!
Spellchecker, the POWER t00l
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Lord DowneyBUM (UK)
Fleet Admiral
Joined: January 13, 2003
Posts: 437
From: London England
| Posted: 2007-08-31 04:32
yes u did, then edited it, thats how i got the quote.
but dont beat yourself up over it.
life is to short or should that be vertically challenged.
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