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A question of morality |
thundercat984 Cadet
Joined: December 31, 2005 Posts: 166 From: southern us
| Posted: 2007-07-27 07:21  
For about 25 years now I have always considered myself a good man when it comes to women/relationships, a product of growing up reading to many books about knights in shinning armour I guess. What I mean is, I've always tried to be a gentleman towards all women especially to the woman I was currently with. For the most part, that meant the usaul things of openning doors and such but, above all it meant never cheating on my lady. I've had offer's to cheat, heh, I 've had flat out naked oppertunities to cheat but I've always turned those offers down flat. The up side to this is when ever women talk to me about how "All men are dogs" I can hold my head up and say I'm not with a straight face and no shame. The down side is I missed out on alot of what I imagine to be very good sex , and for the most part I considered it a fair trade. My personal honor against a few hours of fun, I could live with that. Now, I'm soon to marry and by December be a father for the first time. I love the girl and after I got over the shock, find that I look foward to fatherhood. The problem is, that right before I found out about the baby I met this other girl. Now, I said I loved my g/f but, this girl is something else, we started out just friends talking at work but, the more I talked to her the more impressed I became with her. I mean other than her being a little flatter chested than I'm used to, she is everything I've always looked for in a woman. She's funny, sweet, and just a little rednecked( A good down home kinda girl) and her looks OMG!! I had always thought a sunrise to be about the most beautiful thing there is but, next to her the sun is nothing but a pretty candle. I'm completely hooked on her and was just about to leave my g/f for a chance to be with her, when I got the news about the baby. Now I'm stuck in a moral dellimma, I have no wish to be a part-time parent and while I think I could get sole custody of the child, I could not that cruel. So, leaveing my g/f is out. On the other hand, I can't get the other girl out of my mind....and while I'm pretty sure she likes me enough that it would require little effort on my part to get her in bed with me, I have no wish to be a dog like every other guy. It's a cruel choice I've dealt myself...stick it out, marry my g/f and try to be the father I wish I had and say no to what maybe the most perfect girl I've ever met or seize the chance to be with the girl of my dreams and abandon my g/f and soon to be son. Hmm, when it's wrote out like that it would seem the answer was obvious, I should stick to my family but, it's not and I just don't think I can convey the depths of my feelings for the other girl here. Normally, I'm not one to ask advise from a chat room but i really have no one else to turn to and this situation is thearting to drive me mad. So, If any one else has been in this kinda mess before and has some advise I would appreciate it greatly.
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Coeus Grand Admiral Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: March 22, 2006 Posts: 2815 From: Philly
| Posted: 2007-07-27 07:41  
Paragraphs are your friend...
I ain't reading a giant block of text...
_________________ Do I really look like a guy with a plan?
'I'm gonna go crazy, and I'm taking you with me!'
ICC Security Council Chief Enforcer
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$yTHe {C?} Grand Admiral Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: September 29, 2002 Posts: 1292 From: Arlington, VA
| Posted: 2007-07-27 08:01  
DO A BARREL ROLL
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Little Pet Slinki Admiral
Joined: April 16, 2006 Posts: 836 From: United Kingdom, South West.
| Posted: 2007-07-27 08:26  
Don't give up what you have now, for a fling.
Stick with your g/f and the Child. They will stick by you.
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Enterprise Chief Marshal Raven Warriors
Joined: May 19, 2002 Posts: 2576 From: Hawthorne, Nevada
| Posted: 2007-07-27 08:44  
Quote:
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On 2007-07-27 07:21, thundercat984 wrote:
For about 25 years now I have always considered myself a good man when it comes to women/relationships, a product of growing up reading to many books about knights in shinning armour I guess. What I mean is, I've always tried to be a gentleman towards all women especially to the woman I was currently with. For the most part, that meant the usaul things of openning doors and such but, above all it meant never cheating on my lady. I've had offer's to cheat, heh, I 've had flat out naked oppertunities to cheat but I've always turned those offers down flat. The up side to this is when ever women talk to me about how "All men are dogs" I can hold my head up and say I'm not with a straight face and no shame. The down side is I missed out on alot of what I imagine to be very good sex , and for the most part I considered it a fair trade. My personal honor against a few hours of fun, I could live with that. Now, I'm soon to marry and by December be a father for the first time. I love the girl and after I got over the shock, find that I look foward to fatherhood. The problem is, that right before I found out about the baby I met this other girl. Now, I said I loved my g/f but, this girl is something else, we started out just friends talking at work but, the more I talked to her the more impressed I became with her. I mean other than her being a little flatter chested than I'm used to, she is everything I've always looked for in a woman. She's funny, sweet, and just a little rednecked( A good down home kinda girl) and her looks OMG!! I had always thought a sunrise to be about the most beautiful thing there is but, next to her the sun is nothing but a pretty candle. I'm completely hooked on her and was just about to leave my g/f for a chance to be with her, when my mom got scared and said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror, If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought, "Nah forget it. Yo home to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabby, yo holmes smell ya later! Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air
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Fixed.
-Ent
[small][ This Message was edited by: Enterprise on 2007-07-27 08:45 ][/small]
[ This Message was edited by: Enterprise on 2007-07-27 08:50 ]
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Ulric Winters Fleet Admiral
Joined: February 21, 2004 Posts: 198 From: Somewhere
| Posted: 2007-07-27 08:47  
*Gives Ent a mild golf-clap*
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Leonide Grand Admiral Templar Knights
Joined: October 01, 2005 Posts: 1553 From: Newport News, Virginia
| Posted: 2007-07-27 08:54  
wow thunder....sad to hear of your perdicament. here is my bit of advice:
what i would do is stick with the child. he/she is yours, and you should stick with your coming family. i would stick with the one you know than going to another woman, because as they all say... "the grass is always greener on the other side." but what you can do, is explain to the girl that you have a child coming, and try to keep her as a friend. ( and i know this coming sentence may sound mean, and i apologize for that, but it must be said) if you ever have a divorce with your current G/F, and you stayed really good friends with the woman you met, you can go with her.
that is just my two cents.
P.S. you guys are mean....he asked for help, not stupid DS chat antics.
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captain of the ICC Assault Cruiser C.S.S. Sledgehammer
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Coeus Grand Admiral Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: March 22, 2006 Posts: 2815 From: Philly
| Posted: 2007-07-27 09:27  
Hes asking for relationship help... here...
I'm sorry... rofl, but ent is being kind
_________________ Do I really look like a guy with a plan?
'I'm gonna go crazy, and I'm taking you with me!'
ICC Security Council Chief Enforcer
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Sardaukar Admiral Raven Warriors
Joined: October 08, 2002 Posts: 1656
| Posted: 2007-07-27 10:00  
That the best use of "fixt" I have ever read.
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warner_lowcharge Admiral
Joined: September 27, 2004 Posts: 205 From: Finland
| Posted: 2007-07-27 10:17  
Cheating in the modern world is like mirving in .483, Easy to do, small chance of being caught and you get a big reward. Just remember to use ECM!
Ofcourse there is the problem someone will always know you've done it, and hiding under a new name won't work because the id tag will remain the same and come .484 people will hunt you down and laugh at you. Your profile will be forever tainted and you will have to live in shame or end it....or unsub and quit.
Then again, comparing that to the other ways of getting pres, like building, is concidered "honorable" or something but it's slow and boring especially in MV, lacks especialy the excitement if a dictorgang will jump in and rape you, or lag throwing you into the planet.
You could ofcourse battle it out, take the little pres you get from that and be the hero of the day!
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Lux (Polaris) Fleet Admiral Raven Warriors
Joined: April 20, 2004 Posts: 835 From: Asgard
| Posted: 2007-07-27 10:52  
I'm a bit surprised how you managed to fully relate your answer to Darkspace and MIRVing.
Here, I'll list the pros and cons.
Staying with your soon-to-be wife.
Pros: Being with someone whom you know loves you a lot, enough to get married, enough to have a child with you. You keep your sense of fidelity and honor, you prevent a lot of misery for your girlfriend, and you won't live out the rest of your life knowing you have a son/daughter that you ran out on, who will grow up without a father. You'll live knowing that when, in greatest of temptations, you stayed to raise the family that you've already started.
Cons: Well, you've already thought of leaving her. Basically, you've said the only thing holding you back is the baby. If you were about to leave her because of another girl, do you *really* want to get married?
Going with this other, 'perfect' girl.
Pros: Basically what you've said she's got going for her is looks, and a personality you think would match yours. You don't know if she truly loves you, but apparently, she likes you well enough to have sex with you.
Cons: Well, if you go with her, you've just run out on your unborn child. That child will grow up without a father, a 'mistake' if you will. You weren't married yet, and the only thing holding you back from leaving your gf was the baby. Does this other girl truly love you in the way you love her? You're taking a great gamble if you leave your gf for her, sacrificing stability and a family for an unknown future. And noone is perfect, anywho.
_________________ ICC Security Councilor - Raven representative
Loyal Admiral of the Interstellar Cultural Confederation Navy.
Senior Commander of the Raven Warriors, the ICC elite.
Captain of the Assault Dreadnaught \"Gungnir\"
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MkV2 Cadet
Joined: July 24, 2007 Posts: 9
| Posted: 2007-07-27 11:00  
You're asking us?
I think you have more than 'moral' issues if you're putting this question out to about 56 people, 40 of which are younger than 18.
But, to help you out
Dont leave a mature relationship for something you dont know how well will turn out.
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Peter Wiggin Midshipman
Joined: November 10, 2005 Posts: 636
| Posted: 2007-07-27 12:11  
Trust me when I say this, because I went through that too.. The other person was perfect for me in every way that I could tell at the time. Well, we never did anything but we were really good friends(mistake). After about a year of getting to know this person, I realized that first impressions are rather.. wrong. Ended up trying to break us up to be with me.
What I'm saying, is stay with who you are with. You really don't know what you have until you lose(or almost lose) it. If you and this other girl want to be friends, so be it. I would say pull away from her, because if you really want to be with her, you won't want to stop at friendship.
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-Baron Von Virtu Cadet
Joined: December 21, 2002 Posts: 411
| Posted: 2007-07-27 12:47  
Killlin' me softly...with his song....telling my whole life...with his words...killin' me softly...with his song.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh wooooaaaaohhhhhahahha
Strumming my pain with his fingers...singing my life with his words...killing me softly...with his song...killing me softly...
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Fatal Command (CO) Chief Marshal Fatal Squadron
Joined: November 27, 2002 Posts: 1159 From: Back in Texas and noticing some ppl are like canoes.....they need to be paddled.
| Posted: 2007-07-27 14:02  
a 3 way seems the best solution to me.But.....thats me.
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