| Author |
Southern Grandmother on the Witness Stand |
Tarnekep
Grand Admiral
Galactic Navy
Joined: October 17, 2003
Posts: 275
|  Posted: 2007-06-13 19:29
Lawyers should never ask a southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly women to the stand. He approached her and asked, Mrs. Jones, do you know me? She responded, "Why Yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I 've known you since you where a young boy, and frankly, you have been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I do know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Badley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said "If either of you idiots asked her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair.
 Enjoy everyone
Tarnekep
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Kanman
Grand Admiral
Pitch Black
Joined: August 26, 2005
Posts: 1017
From: Virginia, United States
| Posted: 2007-06-13 19:33
.... eh. Worth a fair smile, but not quite up to chuckle level. I rate 2/5
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BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2007-06-13 19:35
Haha
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Smartin
Grand Admiral
Joined: August 04, 2005
Posts: 1107
From: Michigan
| Posted: 2007-06-13 19:37
I loved it. Good read.
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Tommas [ USF HunnyBunny ]
Chief Marshal
Pitch Black
Joined: February 04, 2006
Posts: 581
From: Norway
| Posted: 2007-06-13 19:48
make me laugh! god one!
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Tarnekep
Grand Admiral
Galactic Navy
Joined: October 17, 2003
Posts: 275
| Posted: 2007-06-13 19:48
Quote:
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On 2007-06-13 19:33, Kanman *FC* wrote:
.... eh. Worth a fair smile, but not quite up to chuckle level. I rate 2/5
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ahhh come on Kanman I know you laughed 
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-RevenG-
Raven Warriors
Joined: March 03, 2004
Posts: 2673
| Posted: 2007-06-13 23:41
It made me laugh.
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Enterprise
Chief Marshal
Raven Warriors
Joined: May 19, 2002
Posts: 2576
From: Hawthorne, Nevada
| Posted: 2007-06-13 23:50
Haha, damn. That was good. o.O
-Ent
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Sixkiller
Marshal
Courageous Elite Commandos
Joined: May 11, 2005
Posts: 1786
From: Netherlands
| Posted: 2007-06-14 01:49
good:P
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Leonide
Grand Admiral
Templar Knights
Joined: October 01, 2005
Posts: 1553
From: Newport News, Virginia
| Posted: 2007-06-14 04:38
haha!! XD
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captain of the ICC Assault Cruiser C.S.S. Sledgehammer
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LAG
Marshal
Lethal Assault Group
Joined: September 19, 2004
Posts: 323
From: Margaritaville
| Posted: 2007-06-14 04:45
funny, especially seeing i live in Southern Georgia.... we got us some dem dere granni's 'round heir
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Joe dirt
Fleet Admiral
Joined: April 18, 2006
Posts: 273
| Posted: 2007-06-14 10:23
oldie but a goodie
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Little Pet Slinki
Admiral
Joined: April 16, 2006
Posts: 836
From: United Kingdom, South West.
| Posted: 2007-06-14 11:37
Lawl.
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