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I am but an outcast but one day you will understand. "no pitty or sympaty.... read first" |
Midnight Fantasy Cadet
Joined: June 12, 2007 Posts: 3
| Posted: 2007-06-12 04:46  
You don’t know how it feels to be an outcast and you never will unless you are… always picked last on a team or in a class project. It feels like knifes looking back upon the broken past that was shattered by peoples stupidity and greed for there own acceptance in society for I am but an outcast I know not of what it means to have true friends I have given up so I sit here along and fearless awaiting for my time to come to pass to leave my mark and honor thoughts that still betray me and cause me pain and to forgive them upon the judgment for I am merciful myself and have died many times my self… you ask how well it is simple every time someone is rude to me or calls me names it kills me inside and the wounds go so deep I cannot bare it anymore. Please try to understand the pain cannot be repaired I will carry it for all eternity and it ways heavy upon my soul and I long desire to forgive thoughts that have done me harm but good does come from this and I have a special connection with myself…. I feel the presence of my guardian angel... and have actually had it speak and appear to me once before and this is my main porpus of writing this…. It was dark black cloaked… it looked at me though my TV screen and walked towards me the hairs on my back sticking straight up and it spoke to me with ought words it was clearer than the clearest train of though and for a time it was all I heard and saw… time seemed to stop…. In my time as an outcast I have always sleeked to be out of the crowd or group… because of my experiences when I am in a group of people I don’t feel like I should be there I just get a gut feeling not to be there as if I bug everyone just by been gin there presence even when they invite me to them…. I have yet to find someone like me or someone I can talk to and have made many mistakes in my life but what I wonder is why me??? I seem to be developing strange activities with my mind such as meditating daily and for some reason inability to sleep it is not depression for I am not depressed…. Doctors don’t understand why….. I understand this and i am not crazy… though many think I am… I am still lost but I am still looking for my path…
Things are now starting to change I have met a group of people that are not like me but I get along with… They talk to me and seem to get to know me i am usualy heasatant to people but have not... i think finaly for once in my life I am not an outcast anymore....... yes there teaching me how to fight... i just used the "Ninja" to make people laugh... it didnt work they just though i was CRAZY but hey at least im makeing people laugh now anyways i will start keeping a diary now of my life and try to get all the stuff i dare not talk about in my lifetime while still alive in a safe place... i will think about updateing this every once in a while but i dont know...
thank you for reading maby now you will understand why i was like that in the past
Signed
Darkspen Travis
[ This Message was edited by: Midnight Fantasy on 2007-06-12 05:19 ]
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Huffywuffy, Mr. Builder Fleet Admiral Interstellar Cultural Confederation United
Joined: August 20, 2003 Posts: 76
| Posted: 2007-06-12 04:53  
There should still be a box with some sympathy somewhere in my room... I'm just too lazy to look for it.
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Quote:
- Operating under the theory that there's no such thing as too many Gaifen, added a (visually) new variant of the Gaifen.
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Midnight Fantasy Cadet
Joined: June 12, 2007 Posts: 3
| Posted: 2007-06-12 05:22  
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On 2007-06-12 04:53, Lord Huffy the Non-Brittanic Gaifen wrote:
There should still be a box with some sympathy somewhere in my room... I'm just too lazy to look for it.
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I sayed no sympathy!!!!
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BackSlash Marshal Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003 Posts: 11183 From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2007-06-12 05:28  
I still say yer certifiably crazy!
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Midnight Fantasy Cadet
Joined: June 12, 2007 Posts: 3
| Posted: 2007-06-12 05:31  
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On 2007-06-12 05:28, BackSlash *Jack* wrote:
I still say yer certifiably crazy!
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yea i know
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DarkSpin Captain Sanity Assassins
Joined: August 03, 2005 Posts: 651 From: Somewhere in the USA
| Posted: 2007-06-12 05:40  
bla bla bla..... im so weard someimes
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Coeus Grand Admiral Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: March 22, 2006 Posts: 2815 From: Philly
| Posted: 2007-06-13 07:57  
_________________ Do I really look like a guy with a plan?
'I'm gonna go crazy, and I'm taking you with me!'
ICC Security Council Chief Enforcer
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Fatal Rocko Willis Fleet Admiral Fatal Squadron
Joined: March 01, 2003 Posts: 1336 From: Kentucky
| Posted: 2007-06-13 08:08  
HEY! I know where to find that Pic!
BTW nice set of Emotes you have Coeus...
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$yTHe {C?} Grand Admiral Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: September 29, 2002 Posts: 1292 From: Arlington, VA
| Posted: 2007-06-13 08:33  
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-Smokey- Grand Admiral
Joined: October 22, 2004 Posts: 784 From: Florida
| Posted: 2007-06-13 09:40  
depressed emo kid ?
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Enterprise Chief Marshal Raven Warriors
Joined: May 19, 2002 Posts: 2576 From: Hawthorne, Nevada
| Posted: 2007-06-13 11:58  
Vicadin will solve all your problems..
-Ent
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Supertrooper Marshal Pitch Black
Joined: March 18, 2004 Posts: 1895 From: Maryland, U.S.A
| Posted: 2007-06-13 12:43  
This makes me think of Goththug's post..
So, what eva.
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Little Pet Slinki Admiral
Joined: April 16, 2006 Posts: 836 From: United Kingdom, South West.
| Posted: 2007-06-13 13:35  
Step back and look at what You've said and where you've put it.
...Is DS the best place? You KNOW its just going to be trampled on.
Thats why people think your crazy.
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DarkSpin Captain Sanity Assassins
Joined: August 03, 2005 Posts: 651 From: Somewhere in the USA
| Posted: 2007-06-13 14:12  
thats the point
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Sunie Vice Admiral Mythica
Joined: October 18, 2003 Posts: 82 From: UK
| Posted: 2007-06-13 14:15  
ok....
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