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[FAQ
Forum Index » » Soap Box » » Chav Nativity
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 Author Chav Nativity
BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy


Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
Posted: 2006-12-18 13:27   
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?). She's not married nor nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with 'im in a crib dahn Nazaref.

One day Mary meets this bloek Gabriel.
She's like - "Oo ya looking at?".
Gabriel just goes - "You got one up the duff, you 'ave!".
Mary's totaly gob-smacked.
She gives it to 'im large - "Stop dissin' me, yeah? I ain't no slappa. I never bin wiv no one!".


So Mary goes an sees 'er cousin Liz, who's six months gone 'erself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Bacardi Breezers an' that.
She's like - "Orright Mary. I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy an' I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get!".
Mary goes - "Yeah, s'pose you're right."

Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they'ave to ponse a donkey an' go dahn to Bethlehem on that. They get to this bug an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To 'ave 'er bay-bee an' that. But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.

Then these geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their 'eads.
They're like - "Respect bay-bee Jesus" - an' say they're wise men from the East End.
Joe goes - "If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankensteinan' Myrrh? Why dintcha just bring gold, Adidas an' Burberry?".
It's all about to kick off when this Gabriel turns up again an' sez 'e's got another message from this Lord Geezer

'e's like - "The police is coming an' they're killin' all the bay-bees. You better naff of to Egypt".
Joe goes - "You must be monged if you think I'm going dahn Egypt on a minging donkey."
Gabriel says - Suit yerself pal. But it's your lookout if you stay."
So they go down Egypt till they've stopped killin' the first-born an' it's safe an' that.

Then Joe an' Mary an' Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella! Proper!

[ This Message was edited by: BackSlash *Jack* on 2006-12-18 13:31 ]
_________________


$wiss
Admiral

Joined: November 08, 2002
Posts: 640
From: Prancing in the meadows with Jesus
Posted: 2006-12-18 14:08   
Where did you get that from. Looking beyond the blasphemy, it's not that bad...
_________________


BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy


Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
Posted: 2006-12-18 14:11   
Someone at my dad's work printed it out and handed it about. He bought it home because it was hilarious. Thought I'd type it out and let you all have a laugh too!
_________________


GothThug {C?}
Fleet Admiral

Joined: June 29, 2005
Posts: 2932
Posted: 2006-12-18 14:12   
OH MY GOD! that has blasphemy Written all over it.....but it was funny hehehehhehe
_________________


  Email GothThug {C?}
Enterprise
Chief Marshal
Raven Warriors

Joined: May 19, 2002
Posts: 2576
From: Hawthorne, Nevada
Posted: 2006-12-18 14:27   
I thought it was hillarious.


Keepin this one for a rainy day.




-Ent
_________________


BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy


Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
Posted: 2006-12-18 14:35   
Those of you on about blasphemy re-heally need to lighten up
_________________


Supertrooper
Marshal
Pitch Black


Joined: March 18, 2004
Posts: 1895
From: Maryland, U.S.A
Posted: 2006-12-18 15:22   
Silly british..
_________________


  Email Supertrooper
Lacrosseian
Fleet Admiral
Raven Warriors

Joined: October 01, 2004
Posts: 1254
Posted: 2006-12-18 15:39   
Silly clam....
_________________


$yTHe {C?}
Grand Admiral
Sundered Weimeriners


Joined: September 29, 2002
Posts: 1292
From: Arlington, VA
Posted: 2006-12-18 15:53   
I think this may be useful to some folks.


funneh
_________________


-RevenG-

Raven Warriors

Joined: March 03, 2004
Posts: 2673
Posted: 2006-12-18 17:45   
...It's sad that I understood everything.
_________________


Coeus
Grand Admiral
Sundered Weimeriners


Joined: March 22, 2006
Posts: 2815
From: Philly
Posted: 2006-12-18 17:49   
Did you post this last year?

Still funny No matter how many times I've read it... heh
_________________
Do I really look like a guy with a plan?
'I'm gonna go crazy, and I'm taking you with me!'


ICC Security Council Chief Enforcer

  Email Coeus   Goto the website of Coeus
BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy


Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
Posted: 2006-12-18 18:28   
Quote:

On 2006-12-18 17:49, Coeus the Drunken Elf wrote:
Did you post this last year?

Still funny No matter how many times I've read it... heh




If I did, I've completely forgotten.
_________________


Coeus
Grand Admiral
Sundered Weimeriners


Joined: March 22, 2006
Posts: 2815
From: Philly
Posted: 2006-12-18 18:39   
Slippery as your mind is tis no wonder!
_________________
Do I really look like a guy with a plan?
'I'm gonna go crazy, and I'm taking you with me!'


ICC Security Council Chief Enforcer

  Email Coeus   Goto the website of Coeus
BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy


Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
Posted: 2006-12-18 18:47   
Quote:

On 2006-12-18 18:39, Coeus the Drunken Elf wrote:
Slippery as your mind is tis no wonder!




Who are you again?
_________________


Light-of-Aurora
Grand Admiral

Joined: December 01, 2003
Posts: 602
From: NJ, USA
Posted: 2006-12-18 19:00   
Blasphemy! I refuse to laugh!
>:(.
















hehehe hahaha lol *discrete thumbs up*
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