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Chav Nativity |
BackSlash Marshal Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003 Posts: 11183 From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2006-12-18 13:27  
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?). She's not married nor nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with 'im in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloek Gabriel.
She's like - "Oo ya looking at?".
Gabriel just goes - "You got one up the duff, you 'ave!".
Mary's totaly gob-smacked.
She gives it to 'im large - "Stop dissin' me, yeah? I ain't no slappa. I never bin wiv no one!".
So Mary goes an sees 'er cousin Liz, who's six months gone 'erself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Bacardi Breezers an' that.
She's like - "Orright Mary. I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy an' I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get!".
Mary goes - "Yeah, s'pose you're right."
Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they'ave to ponse a donkey an' go dahn to Bethlehem on that. They get to this bug an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To 'ave 'er bay-bee an' that. But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.
Then these geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their 'eads.
They're like - "Respect bay-bee Jesus" - an' say they're wise men from the East End.
Joe goes - "If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankensteinan' Myrrh? Why dintcha just bring gold, Adidas an' Burberry?".
It's all about to kick off when this Gabriel turns up again an' sez 'e's got another message from this Lord Geezer
'e's like - "The police is coming an' they're killin' all the bay-bees. You better naff of to Egypt".
Joe goes - "You must be monged if you think I'm going dahn Egypt on a minging donkey."
Gabriel says - Suit yerself pal. But it's your lookout if you stay."
So they go down Egypt till they've stopped killin' the first-born an' it's safe an' that.
Then Joe an' Mary an' Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella! Proper!
[ This Message was edited by: BackSlash *Jack* on 2006-12-18 13:31 ]
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$wiss Admiral
Joined: November 08, 2002 Posts: 640 From: Prancing in the meadows with Jesus
| Posted: 2006-12-18 14:08  
Where did you get that from. Looking beyond the blasphemy, it's not that bad...
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BackSlash Marshal Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003 Posts: 11183 From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2006-12-18 14:11  
Someone at my dad's work printed it out and handed it about. He bought it home because it was hilarious. Thought I'd type it out and let you all have a laugh too!
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GothThug {C?} Fleet Admiral
Joined: June 29, 2005 Posts: 2932
| Posted: 2006-12-18 14:12  
OH MY GOD! that has blasphemy Written all over it.....but it was funny hehehehhehe
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Enterprise Chief Marshal Raven Warriors
Joined: May 19, 2002 Posts: 2576 From: Hawthorne, Nevada
| Posted: 2006-12-18 14:27  
I thought it was hillarious.
Keepin this one for a rainy day.
-Ent
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BackSlash Marshal Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003 Posts: 11183 From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2006-12-18 14:35  
Those of you on about blasphemy re-heally need to lighten up
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Supertrooper Marshal Pitch Black
Joined: March 18, 2004 Posts: 1895 From: Maryland, U.S.A
| Posted: 2006-12-18 15:22  
Silly british..
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Lacrosseian Fleet Admiral Raven Warriors
Joined: October 01, 2004 Posts: 1254
| Posted: 2006-12-18 15:39  
Silly clam....
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$yTHe {C?} Grand Admiral Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: September 29, 2002 Posts: 1292 From: Arlington, VA
| Posted: 2006-12-18 15:53  
I think this may be useful to some folks.
funneh
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-RevenG-
Raven Warriors
Joined: March 03, 2004 Posts: 2673
| Posted: 2006-12-18 17:45  
...It's sad that I understood everything.
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Coeus Grand Admiral Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: March 22, 2006 Posts: 2815 From: Philly
| Posted: 2006-12-18 17:49  
Did you post this last year?
Still funny No matter how many times I've read it... heh
_________________ Do I really look like a guy with a plan?
'I'm gonna go crazy, and I'm taking you with me!'
ICC Security Council Chief Enforcer
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BackSlash Marshal Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003 Posts: 11183 From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2006-12-18 18:28  
Quote:
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On 2006-12-18 17:49, Coeus the Drunken Elf wrote:
Did you post this last year?
Still funny No matter how many times I've read it... heh
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If I did, I've completely forgotten.
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Coeus Grand Admiral Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: March 22, 2006 Posts: 2815 From: Philly
| Posted: 2006-12-18 18:39  
Slippery as your mind is tis no wonder!
_________________ Do I really look like a guy with a plan?
'I'm gonna go crazy, and I'm taking you with me!'
ICC Security Council Chief Enforcer
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BackSlash Marshal Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003 Posts: 11183 From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2006-12-18 18:47  
Quote:
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On 2006-12-18 18:39, Coeus the Drunken Elf wrote:
Slippery as your mind is tis no wonder!
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Who are you again?
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Light-of-Aurora Grand Admiral
Joined: December 01, 2003 Posts: 602 From: NJ, USA
| Posted: 2006-12-18 19:00  
Blasphemy! I refuse to laugh!
>:(.
hehehe hahaha lol *discrete thumbs up*
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