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The European Commission |
Alien Mastermind
Grand Admiral
Pitch Black
Joined: January 20, 2003
Posts: 242
From: Toronto
|  Posted: 2006-09-16 19:54
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
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Doran
Chief Marshal
Galactic Navy
Joined: March 29, 2003
Posts: 4032
From: The Gideon Unit
| Posted: 2006-09-16 20:04
[ This Message was edited by: Doran on 2006-09-16 20:06 ]
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doda *EP5 no longer exception...*
Grand Admiral
Joined: December 11, 2005
Posts: 1012
From: happy land
| Posted: 2006-09-16 20:10
lol doran
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Coeus
Grand Admiral
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: March 22, 2006
Posts: 2815
From: Philly
| Posted: 2006-09-16 22:20
And they say we bastardize the language...
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Enterprise
Chief Marshal
Raven Warriors
Joined: May 19, 2002
Posts: 2576
From: Hawthorne, Nevada
| Posted: 2006-09-17 01:45
I dont know about you all, but that made me laugh.
-Ent
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Sixkiller
Marshal
Courageous Elite Commandos
Joined: May 11, 2005
Posts: 1786
From: Netherlands
| Posted: 2006-09-17 02:49
that looks more like ending up speaking french to me
nice story:P
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BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2006-09-17 07:45
I APROVE
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Musiqsoulman
Grand Admiral
*Renegade Space Marines*
Joined: November 26, 2005
Posts: 209
From: Italy
| Posted: 2006-09-17 08:10
Source please?
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Alien Mastermind
Grand Admiral
Pitch Black
Joined: January 20, 2003
Posts: 242
From: Toronto
| Posted: 2006-09-17 08:29
this was passed down to me by a friend of mine... don't know where she got it from.
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Musiqsoulman
Grand Admiral
*Renegade Space Marines*
Joined: November 26, 2005
Posts: 209
From: Italy
| Posted: 2006-09-17 11:29
Something simply didn't sound right to me about that news.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Languages_of_the_European_Union
We have 20 official languages.
* Czech
* Danish
* Dutch
* English
* Estonian
* Finnish
* French
* German
* Greek
* Hungarian
* Italian
* Latvian
* Lithuanian
* Maltese
* Polish
* Portuguese
* Slovak
* Slovene
* Spanish
* Swedish
Irish will be included starting from January 2007.
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$yTHe {C?}
Grand Admiral
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: September 29, 2002
Posts: 1292
From: Arlington, VA
| Posted: 2006-09-17 12:30
That was called a funny, Musiq.
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Alien Mastermind
Grand Admiral
Pitch Black
Joined: January 20, 2003
Posts: 242
From: Toronto
| Posted: 2006-09-17 12:50
Oh good grief, you didn't actually take this seriously, did you?
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Musiqsoulman
Grand Admiral
*Renegade Space Marines*
Joined: November 26, 2005
Posts: 209
From: Italy
| Posted: 2006-09-17 13:32
Some years ago, milk producers were forced to WASTE milk if they were producing too much, because they were not supposed to exceed a certain quota.
This is Europe, I'm ready to expect anything.
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Bobamelius
Grand Admiral
Galactic Navy
Joined: October 08, 2002
Posts: 2074
From: Ohio
| Posted: 2006-09-17 13:41
That wasn't funny, that was just plain SCARY.
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-RevenG-
Raven Warriors
Joined: March 03, 2004
Posts: 2673
| Posted: 2006-09-17 15:33
Heh. I enjoyed it.
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