| Author |
Post your Jokes Here :) |
Tarnekep
Grand Admiral
Galactic Navy
Joined: October 17, 2003
Posts: 275
|  Posted: 2005-06-10 10:49
Hi Guys Miss Me NOT!!!! I have a few jokes I will try to keep the dirty ones to myself since I enjoy them more and I certainly don't want to get myself canned from DS he he any ways here are a few of my jokes hope everyone will enjoy putting their jokes here:
Subject: FW: PMS
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. ProvideMe withSweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite..
13. Potential Murder Suspect
And as an example:
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One!!! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY?
Because no one else in this house knows HOW to
change a light bulb! They don't even know that the
bulb is BURNED OUT!! They'd sit there in the dark
for THREE DAYS before they figured it out!! And,
once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to
find the light bulbs despite the fact they've been in
the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 13 YEARS! But
if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find
the bulbs 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to
stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would
STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT
WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME
IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE
GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL
SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT
DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE
AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS HOUSE!
I'm sorry. What was your question?
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Tarnekep
Grand Admiral
Galactic Navy
Joined: October 17, 2003
Posts: 275
| Posted: 2005-06-10 10:54
Subject: Secrets
There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other, except that the little old woman had a shoe box on top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about it. For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoebox and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling $250,000. He asked her about the contents.
"When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me that the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily." The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the doilies, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?" "Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the doilies."
A Prayer. . . . .
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods; Because Lord, if I pray for strength I'll beat him to death.
:)
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-Smokey-
Grand Admiral
Joined: October 22, 2004
Posts: 784
From: Florida
| Posted: 2005-06-10 16:23
I got a good one:
Ok so there a man and he lives in a noodist colony so his mom calls him and asks for a picture of himslef since she hasnt seen him in so long. So after he sends the picture h decides to cut the picture in half since ya no well anyway after he sends it he found out he sent the rong half so his mother calls and her son asks so what did u think og my picture and she saws your hairs to long and u have a big nose 
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Bobamelius
Grand Admiral
Galactic Navy
Joined: October 08, 2002
Posts: 2074
From: Ohio
| Posted: 2005-06-10 16:40
Heh, I like those Tarne. 
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$yTHe {C?}
Grand Admiral
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: September 29, 2002
Posts: 1292
From: Arlington, VA
| Posted: 2005-06-10 17:34
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Hey, why the long face?"
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Ulric Winters
Fleet Admiral
Joined: February 21, 2004
Posts: 198
From: Somewhere
| Posted: 2005-06-10 18:21
A man walks into a bar, what does he say? "ouch"
[ This Message was edited by: Shenlong on 2005-06-10 18:21 ]
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Fattierob
Vice Admiral
Joined: April 25, 2003
Posts: 4059
| Posted: 2005-06-10 19:43
A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck.
The bartender looks at the guy and says, "allright, you can stay, but don't start anything"
best website for communist jokes:..Kremlin Fried Chicken!
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