| Author |
Hilarious signs from around the world |
Axianda The Royal
Fleet Admiral
Terra Squadron
Joined: November 20, 2001
Posts: 4273
From: Axianda
|  Posted: 2005-01-26 17:17
If you're a traveler, you might enjoy these.....
Cocktail lounge, Norway:
"LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR."
At a Budapest zoo:
"PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY."
Doctors office, Rome:
"SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Hotel, Acapulco:
"THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE."
Information booklet about using a hotel air
conditioner, Japan:
"COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF."
Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
"WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN.
TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES
YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOR."
Dry cleaner's, Bangkok:
"DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
"CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER."
On the grounds of a private school:
"NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION."
On an Athi River highway:
"TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE."
On a poster at Kencom:
"ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP."
In a City restaurant:
"OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
One of the Mathare buildings:
"MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE."
A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
"DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS."
In a Pumwani maternity ward:
"NO CHILDREN ALLOWED."
In a cemetery:
"PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES."
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
"GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED."
Hotel notice, Tokyo:
"IS FORBIDDEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS PLEASE.
IF YOU ARE NOT A PERSON TO DO SUCH A THING IS PLEASE NOT TO HAD NOTIS."
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
"OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR."
In a Tokyo bar:
"SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS."
In a Bangkok temple:
"IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN."
Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand:
"PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM"
Hotel brochure, Italy:
"THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE.
IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE."
Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
"THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING
THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE."
Hotel elevator, Paris:
"PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK."
Hotel, Yugoslavia:
"THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID."
Hotel, Japan:
"YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID."
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
"YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS
RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY."
Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:
"NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION."
Taken from a menu, Poland:
"SALAD A FIRM'S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH
CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE;
BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE'S FASHION."
Supermarket, Hong Kong:
"FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE."
From the "Soviet Weekly":
"THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS.
THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS."
In an East African newspaper:
"A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE
THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS."
Hotel, Vienna:
"IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER."
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
"IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING
SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE
TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE."
Hotel, Zurich:
"BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM,
IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE."
An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
"TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS."
Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
"TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES."
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
"WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?"
In the window on a Swedish furrier:
"FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN."
The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
"GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE."
In a Swiss mountain inn:
"SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM."
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
"WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS."
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
"IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT."
A laundry in Rome:
"LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME."
_________________
- Axi
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BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2005-01-26 18:04
LMAO some of those are funny as hell  .
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Fatal Command (CO)
Chief Marshal
Fatal Squadron
Joined: November 27, 2002
Posts: 1159
From: Back in Texas and noticing some ppl are like canoes.....they need to be paddled.
| Posted: 2005-01-26 19:20
on a road by me there is a sign.
Johnson cemetary
Dead End
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Ham&Swiss
Grand Admiral
Joined: October 12, 2004
Posts: 418
From: 10$ to whoever finds me
| Posted: 2005-01-26 20:33
wow...those r great...^_^
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If violence doesn't work, Your not using enough!
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Novacat
Grand Admiral
Joined: October 30, 2001
Posts: 2337
From: Starleague Cache
| Posted: 2005-01-26 20:49
"OWNED OPERATED
RENT-A-BUS, INC.
MYRTLE BEACH, S.C.
ICC MC 143315
USDOT 163755"
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Ghostly Specter of an Ancient Past.
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Hellza - master
Cadet
Joined: February 24, 2004
Posts: 556
| Posted: 2005-01-26 23:53
ROFL nice
[ This Message was edited by: Hellza GODLIKE on 2005-01-26 23:54 ]
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Archon
Grand Admiral
Joined: October 14, 2003
Posts: 331
From: Queensland, Australia
| Posted: 2005-01-27 00:40
lol, Trust this to come from Axi
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~Insanity Is Only The Beginning~
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-RevenG-
Raven Warriors
Joined: March 03, 2004
Posts: 2673
| Posted: 2005-01-27 11:55
Lol, those were great.
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Strom"DaBum"Moon
Cadet
ExtraTerrestrial Space Bums
Joined: September 29, 2002
Posts: 419
From: 29.740456 X -095.500764
| Posted: 2005-01-27 14:05
Axi those had me laughing all nite.
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Be ever vigilent in the dark of the void for we dance death in the path's without light
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