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{News Report} UGTO (11-5-06) |
Kanman
Grand Admiral
Pitch Black
Joined: August 26, 2005
Posts: 1017
From: Virginia, United States
|  Posted: 2006-11-04 21:26
Our Top Story
Further investigations into the fleets of ICC ships found with their crews on the wrong side of the airlock have revealed what caused these occurrences. As it turns out, the bodies were near the point of asphyxiation when they released themselves into the void. At first, it seemed a Pirate attack involving some kind of nerve gas was the cause. This proved not to be the case. No Pirate jump trails were detected on the local spatial fabric, and tell-tail Pirate ion-weapon signatures were not detected.
The answers came from the food court and the analysis of the green nebula surrounding the dead fleets. It seems a new form of bacteria has evolved on Exathra and went completely undetected by the ICC Food Inspectors. These bacteria live on the ICC cheese, and seem to cause painful and toxic flatulence. The ICC atmospheric filters couldn’t keep up with the accumulation of this toxic gas, leaving the suffocating crew only one option. The airlock. They seem to have crammed themselves in tightly to save as many as possible, but between the continued release of gas from the crew in the airlock, and the desperate crew still trapped in the ship, someone either in the airlock or desiring to make room to get into the airlock opened the outer door and vented all the crew within out into space.
Even in space, the bacteria continue to thrive for several hours, released the green nebula of toxic gas from their bodies. After the crew was finally out of the ship, a few hours of atmospheric scrubbers cleaned the air before any of the K’luth or UGTO fleets discovered the ships.
As the K’luth have no interest in the cheese, and the absence of VCA from UGTO has prevented the return of any cheese to UGTO space, this disease is isolated in the ICC population. The UGTO High Chancellor has declared VCA heroes for knowing their disappearance was the only way to stop the shipments to the ravenously cheese addicted UGTO people. The High Chancellor also released this statement to the ICC High Command in regards to the killer cheese epidemic:
“Ha ha!” *Note: this has a Nelson from The Simpsons tone when spoken verbally.*
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Heroes Located
The UGTO Fleet VCA has been found to be on a self-declared assignment in UGTO captured vessels, attacking ICC outposts along the K’luth borders to allow the K’luth the ability to push into ICC space as well. They are expected to return before their 8 day pardon period passes, which still remains in effect, even though they are now considered heroes by the UGTO citizens and leadership.
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