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ICC Security Council Public Memo {4-8-08} |
Coeus Grand Admiral Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: March 22, 2006 Posts: 2815 From: Philly
| Posted: 2008-04-08 17:32  
From: Grand Admiral Coeus Darksoul
To: ICC Fleetwide & Civilian Merchants bearing ICC Markings
Security Level: None
RE: Brain Damaged UGTO - new security procedures.
In an attempt to dissuade the UGTO from their most recent course of insanity (See: UGTO News Publication RE: "Hannibal's Cooking Lessons") all ships bearing ICC colors are hereby recommended to immediately jettison the following cargo:
[ul]
[li]All forms of spices, such as Paprika, Cumin, Olde Bay, and so on.
[li]All forms of herbs
[li]Any and all forms of cooking oil
[/ul]
In the event of the capture of your ship, all ICC military vessels are to stick to the standing orders and dump their cheese stores into their plasma manifolds. All civilian ships bearing ICC colors are advised to take up this practice.
The less tastey we are, the more likely they are to just shoot us mercifully if we are captured.
Of course, you could just do what we do best and kill them first... but hey, its best to be prepared, amIrite?
_________________ Do I really look like a guy with a plan?
'I'm gonna go crazy, and I'm taking you with me!'
ICC Security Council Chief Enforcer
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Bardiche Chief Marshal
Joined: November 16, 2006 Posts: 1247
| Posted: 2008-04-08 17:44  
You could also beat them to the act and kill yourself the moment your ship gets captured.
_________________
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Coeus Grand Admiral Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: March 22, 2006 Posts: 2815 From: Philly
| Posted: 2008-04-08 18:00  
Yeah but the only reason we ever get captured is because we're too busy dating cheerleaders & getting drunk while the uggies are off playing with themselves
_________________ Do I really look like a guy with a plan?
'I'm gonna go crazy, and I'm taking you with me!'
ICC Security Council Chief Enforcer
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codenemesis Admiral
Joined: June 10, 2007 Posts: 185
| Posted: 2008-04-08 18:30  
And thats why soon as i git admiral i am going kluth....
_________________ Times Quoted - Probably 11
00:44:23 Feralwulf: \"I am, therefore I ban\"
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Panduh Grand Admiral Pitch Black
Joined: June 03, 2007 Posts: 250
| Posted: 2008-04-08 21:50  
I fully support such a protocol!
COEUS FOR PREZ!
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DMC-13 Admiral Evil Empires Inc.
Joined: February 16, 2008 Posts: 187 From: Huntington Beach, California, USA
| Posted: 2008-04-09 00:28  
Considering the fact that they also eat "live meat", getting rid of the spices, herbs and cooking oil isn't going to help. Might I suggest finding a way to "sour" the meat, such as a strict diet of dill pickles and lemonaid.
DMC-13
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FlyD4wn Fleet Admiral
Joined: October 19, 2004 Posts: 138 From: Netherlands
| Posted: 2008-04-09 04:51  
Quote:
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On 2008-04-08 21:50, Fatal Panda (w00tcakes) wrote:
I fully support such a protocol!
COEUS FOR PREZ!
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Agreed! =)
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Xpli$it Marshal
Joined: March 06, 2004 Posts: 486 From: Canada
| Posted: 2008-04-09 11:32  
.... Fools. Clearly the only logical solution is to begin devouring each other before those UGTO monsters get us.
Fellow ICC, begin consumption of your fellow soldiers.
.. But, who will be the last one left alive and uneaten? Who will eat him if not the UGTO?
We have a major problem on our hands.
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Coeus Grand Admiral Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: March 22, 2006 Posts: 2815 From: Philly
| Posted: 2008-04-09 17:51  
This takes "Eat me!" to a whole new level..
_________________ Do I really look like a guy with a plan?
'I'm gonna go crazy, and I'm taking you with me!'
ICC Security Council Chief Enforcer
|